Our world is facing unexpected loss, and many people are finding themselves as widows and widowers. We asked a woman who lost her husband many years ago what three things you wish you would have known about widowhood; these are her answers.
- Psychiatrists recommend you do not make any significant decisions for one year. Financials, moving, remarrying, etc. Not making life changes is difficult because you are in the midst of a major life change. You will have to make changes. Do your best. That is all that anyone can expect from you.
- Your psychiatrist tells you not to make decisions, and it seems like everyone else will have an opinion about what you should or shouldn’t do too. No one understands how you feel, and your choices aren’t theirs to live with or make. #2 seems like the same point as number one since the takeaway remains the same, but it can be challenging to stand your ground with your loved ones because their hearts are in the right place. Navigating a new normal is something you will need to do for yourself. Only focus on doing the best that you can to pick up the pieces in your life.
- No one will understand what the loss of your spouse means to you. Maybe you will be loneliest at 5:00 pm when its time to make dinner, then you remember it is just you, and you end up alone eating crackers from a box. Maybe the loss is hardest when you have to see your child off to college, alone. Who knows? It’s different for everyone and long-lasting. That is why no one has the knowledge or right to judge you for how you feel. It’s okay to be lonely. It doesn’t mean you haven’t moved on or are doing widowhood wrong.
We hope these three tips have given you courage for your journey. GeboCall Advocates understand the loneliness of widowhood and are ready to talk. In our interview, she said you might find that after a few months of losing your spouse, you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep. After a time, people go back to their regular lives, and you don’t have anyone you feel comfortable calling at 3:00 am. We keep Widow(er) Hours. Call anytime.
Wishing you The Gift of peace,