Myth About Wanting Love: Once you find the perfect person, future love is guaranteed
In the month of February, I want to debunk four myths about wanting love and relationships. The first is, Once you find the perfect person, forever is guaranteed. From breaking up after one week from your first “Puppy Love” experience to losing your partner after almost a century together, the only absolute is that life is ever-changing, and that is the only guarantee.
I remember being in fifth grade, and Willie sat next to me on my first day of school.
Apparently, I have always had a thing about teeth because I was so impressed with Willie’s big, white, straight teeth. He had the most oversized teeth for his head of all of us fifth graders, and I loved them! And when he smiled at me, I remember my heart dropping, and I thought, this must be what love feels like. I was the “I do have a boyfriend” kid, and nobody could tell me any different. Then summer came, and for some reason, I completely forgot about my forever love, Willie. My feelings were sincere. As an adult, I remember how much I felt for him and how much I used to daydream about our kids with big teeth. I thought my future love was guaranteed.
I have a friend who found their forever person when she wanted love. They had a beautiful daughter who was born blind and they started a program for blind children and worked together to create the life that they wanted. They loved each other and the world that they created, but she eventually lost him to suicide. His PTSD from Army combat was ultimately too much, and he decided to take his own life. She has been devastated. After 14 years of marriage and all they built together, she thought her future love was guaranteed. She had plans to grow old together. But, instead, her world is forever changed.
Breakups, death, moving away, etc., there are so many reasons why finding the perfect person can result in love loss instead of love secured.
Remembering that there aren’t any guarantees in life, appreciate the love you have had in your life, whether it’s a current relationship or one you have experienced in the past. When we think about wanting love, we often think of a new relationship, not appreciating the love we once felt.
Speaking to a real person who can help us sort through what we are feeling can also help us debunk this myth. When we want love, we have to realize there are no guarantees. This myth applies to all of the places in life where we want or expect to feel loved. We often put the same pressures in romantic relationships as we do in familial relationships and even friendships. Sometimes relationships come to an end, and that is okay.