“What you seek is seeking you.”
When I first heard this quote by Rumi, it woke me up. I didn’t know what it was I was seeking. Feelings of merely existing began to wash over me, seeking? I was in college and was there because that was what I was supposed to do next. I didn’t even know what my major would be.
Was I seeking?
I sat with that question for a long time. And the truth was, I was seeking me. I was trying to figure out what it was that I wanted out of life. I was done being busy and doing things because of “supposed to.” My dad calls these years the dizzy years because we’re not kids anymore and not quite adult enough to fully adult, and the spinning back and forth makes us dizzy.
The truth is, I think we live a life of dizzy years.
Our world expands, and as our perspectives change, so do our desires. Changing desires can conflict with what we feel we have been working for. During that time, I worked on things I was passionate about while remembering myself as a little girl. The one obsessing over HGTV and This Old House reruns and rearranged my parent’s apartment more times than I could count.
I switched colleges, went to the Art Institute, and found interior design. I was almost finished and was working on my externship and juggling plumbers, tilers, and painters, and that is when it hit me- I HATE THIS JOB! Realizing I love to decorate, not so much interior design and coordinating logistics, woke me up. I was dizzy again, but I kept seeking myself. I have spent my days since seeking me, because:
“What you seek is seeking you.” Rumi
Seeking me, I am not any of the things college Tiffany would have thought she would be, but I have never felt more of myself than I do now. Isn’t it funny how life works? When I was chasing goals (I don’t think there is anything wrong with goals, I am an avid goal maker!) I wasn’t as happy as when I was chasing me. As selfish as it sounds, I do think seeking yourself is one of the least selfish things you can do for yourself and the people in your life. It allows clarity through the dizzy times. You let go of people and situations that aren’t for you.
What is it that you are seeking? Have you taken the time to think about it lately? Are you in a dizzy time? I think messy times are the times when we have the most potential to change our lives. Rumi’s simple statement has been something that has gotten me out of feeling stagnant and has inspired me to take the steps necessary to move forward from the dizziest of feelings.
I would love to hear your favorite quote or the words you’ve heard that shifted something in your life. Please drop a line!
Wishing you The Gift of seeking,